Of Life as a Script // 2014

It stretches before me, unknown and intriguing. A new year. A new horizon. New chances. Fresh opportunities.

The excitement is akin to opening a new document, eyeing the blinking cursor, and knowing the page will soon be full of words – a story, an article, an essay. I am never quite sure what the finished page will look like, but I am eager to find out.

It is similar in my life. I do not know what tomorrow, next week, next month, next year holds. My view is that of the photo: misty mountains with unknown valleys in between. Joys, troubles, accomplishments, hardships, sacrifices, failings. I know there will be many things, but I do not yet know what they will be.

In my own writing, I decide what happens. I arrange the structure of the argument or tell the characters what to do.

It is safe.

 

Nothing will happen that I don’t allow. I control the good and the bad. If I dislike something, I simply hit the delete button and it disappears.

The difference in life is that I am not holding the pen. I am not writing the script of my life.

Christ is.

He holds my times in His hands, assigns my portion, and gives me the grace to live it.

 

"The Lord is the portion of mine inheritance and of my cup:

Thou maintainest my lot."

- Psalm 16:5

 

Make no mistake. I can kick and scream and fight all I want. I can wrench the pen from His grasp and feebly attempt to write my life story my own way.

 

It’s my choice.

 

But there will be no peace, no blessing, no security if I place myself in the author’s chair.

 

I have to choose to willingly submit, and even if I cannot understand what He is doing or why He is doing it, His will is the safest place in the universe.

 

He knows what is best for me. Far more than I ever could. He fashioned me. He knows everything about me – every single thought, each word that rises to my lips, all my actions.

 

"O Lord, Thou hast searched me, and known me.

Thou knowest my downsitting and mine uprising,

Thou understandest my thought afar off.

Thou compassest my path and my lying down,

and art acquainted with all my ways.

For there is not a word in my tongue, but, lo,

O Lord, Thou knowest it altogether."

- Psalm 139:1-4

 

He cares about each detail in my life. Everything that touches me first goes through His all-loving, sovereign hands. He is working everything together for good. He is always with me, no matter where or what I am doing.

 

"Thou hast beset me behind and before,

and laid Thine hand upon me.

Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;

It is high, I cannot attain unto it."

- Psalm 139:5-6

 

His lovingkindness and tender mercies are new every single morning. His grace is overflowing and His love has no end. Nothing can stop His mighty power. He is faithful and will fulfill all His promises. What He says, He will do.

 

"He doeth according to His will in the army of heaven

and among the inhabitants of the earth,

and none can stay His hand."

- Daniel 4:35

 

His perfect wisdom guides all of His doings. I love how Keith and Kristyn Getty express it in their beautiful song:

 

“The perfect wisdom of our God

Revealed in all the universe:

All things created by His hand

And held together at His command.

He knows the mysteries of the seas,

The secrets of the stars are His;

He guides the planets on their way

And turns the earth through another day.

 

The matchless wisdom of His ways

That mark the path of righteousness;

His word a lamp unto my feet,

His Spirit teaching and guiding me.

And O the mystery of the cross,

That God should suffer for the lost,

So that the fool might shame the wise,

And all the glory might go to Christ!  

 

O grant me wisdom from above,

To pray for peace and cling to love,

And teach me humbly to receive

The sun and rain of Your sovereignty.

Each strand of sorrow has a place

Within this tapestry of grace;

So through the trials I choose to say:

‘Your perfect will in Your perfect way.’”

 

Ultimately, it is all about Him. His honour. His glory. His will. His plan. I am simply in awe that He would let a sinful, miserable, weak creature like me be part of it.

 

As for the new year, I know that He already knows the script for 2014. He will give me strength for what lies ahead, and if I am walking in fellowship with Him, He will show me the areas of my life that need to be adjusted. I am painfully aware of my failings over the past year. Sometimes it seems like I am only relearning the same lessons over and over. Through it all, His grace picks me up and helps me to start anew. My weaknesses and failures only serve to show me how strong and mighty He is.

 

So, the rest of my life starts today. I do not want to miss it or wile it away doing useless things. I want to continue growing in the grace and knowledge of Him. I want to do His will, making the most of my short time here on earth. I want to learn more of Calvary love – the love that lays down its life, that seeks the good of others, that doesn’t balk at pain, inconvenience, and sacrifice, the love that is gentle, kind, and forgiving. I want to be the willing vessel who is first filled with the Word and knowledge of Christ and then spilled out for others.

 

“Give me the Love that leads the way,

The Faith that nothing can dismay,

The Hope no disappointments tire,

The Passion that’ll burn like fire,

Let me not sink to be a clod:

Make me Thy fuel, Flame of God.”

 – Amy Carmichael

 

I want, in the words of Lilias Trotter, to have “no room for anything but Jesus.” To have a heart humbly surrendered to Him. To have eyes that focus upward on Him. To have a life written by Him.

 

And I am so thankful that I do not have to reach these goals on my own.

 

“For it is God which worketh in you

both to will and to do of His good pleasure.”

 – Philippians 2:13