It stretches before me, unknown and intriguing. A new year.
A new horizon. New chances. Fresh opportunities.
The excitement is akin to opening a new document, eyeing
the blinking cursor, and knowing the page will soon be full of words – a story,
an article, an essay. I am never quite sure what the finished page will look
like, but I am eager to find out.
It is similar in my life. I do not know what tomorrow,
next week, next month, next year holds. My view is that of the photo: misty
mountains with unknown valleys in between. Joys, troubles, accomplishments,
hardships, sacrifices, failings. I know there will be many things, but I do not
yet know what they will be.
In my own writing, I decide what happens. I arrange the structure of the argument or tell the characters
what to do.
It is safe.
Nothing will happen that I don’t allow. I control the
good and the bad. If I dislike something, I simply hit the delete button and it
disappears.
The difference in life is that I am not holding the pen. I am
not writing the script of my life.
Christ is.
He holds my times in His hands, assigns my portion, and
gives me the grace to live it.
"The Lord is the portion of mine inheritance and of my cup:
Thou maintainest my lot."
- Psalm 16:5
Make no mistake. I can kick and scream and fight all I
want. I can wrench the pen from His grasp and feebly attempt to write my life
story my own way.
It’s my choice.
But there will be no peace, no blessing, no security if I
place myself in the author’s chair.
I have to choose to willingly submit, and even if I
cannot understand what He is doing or why He is doing it, His will is the
safest place in the universe.
He knows what is best for me. Far more than I ever could. He fashioned me. He knows everything about me – every single thought, each
word that rises to my lips, all my actions.
"O Lord, Thou hast searched me, and known me.
Thou knowest my downsitting and mine uprising,
Thou understandest my thought afar off.
Thou compassest my path and my lying down,
and art acquainted with all my ways.
For there is not a word in my tongue, but, lo,
O Lord, Thou knowest it altogether."
- Psalm 139:1-4
He cares about each detail in my life. Everything that
touches me first goes through His all-loving, sovereign hands. He is working
everything together for good. He is always with me, no matter where or what I
am doing.
"Thou hast beset me behind and before,
and laid Thine hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;
It is high, I cannot attain unto it."
- Psalm 139:5-6
His lovingkindness and tender mercies are new every
single morning. His grace is overflowing and His love has no end. Nothing can
stop His mighty power. He is faithful and will fulfill all His promises. What
He says, He will do.
"He doeth according to His will in the army of heaven
and among the inhabitants of the earth,
and none can stay His hand."
- Daniel 4:35
His perfect wisdom guides all of His doings. I love how
Keith and Kristyn Getty express it in their beautiful song:
“The perfect
wisdom of our God
Revealed in all
the universe:
All things created
by His hand
And held together
at His command.
He knows the
mysteries of the seas,
The secrets of the
stars are His;
He guides the
planets on their way
And turns the
earth through another day.
The matchless
wisdom of His ways
That mark the path
of righteousness;
His word a lamp
unto my feet,
His Spirit
teaching and guiding me.
And O the mystery
of the cross,
That God should
suffer for the lost,
So that the fool
might shame the wise,
And all the glory
might go to Christ!
To pray for peace
and cling to love,
And teach me
humbly to receive
The sun and rain
of Your sovereignty.
Each strand of
sorrow has a place
Within this
tapestry of grace;
So through the
trials I choose to say:
‘Your perfect will
in Your perfect way.’”
Ultimately, it is all about Him. His honour. His glory.
His will. His plan. I am simply in awe that He would let a sinful, miserable,
weak creature like me be part of it.
As for the new year, I know that He already knows the
script for 2014. He will give me strength for what lies ahead, and if I am
walking in fellowship with Him, He will show me the areas of my life that need
to be adjusted. I am painfully aware of my failings over the past year.
Sometimes it seems like I am only relearning the same lessons over and over.
Through it all, His grace picks me up and helps me to start anew. My weaknesses
and failures only serve to show me how strong and mighty He is.
So, the rest of my life starts today. I do not want to miss it or wile it away doing useless
things. I want to continue growing in the grace and knowledge of Him. I want to
do His will, making the most of my short time here on earth. I want to learn
more of Calvary love – the love that lays down its life, that seeks the good of
others, that doesn’t balk at pain, inconvenience, and sacrifice, the love that
is gentle, kind, and forgiving. I want to be the willing vessel who is first
filled with the Word and knowledge of Christ and then spilled out for others.
“Give me the Love that leads the way,
The Faith that nothing can dismay,
The Hope no disappointments tire,
The Passion that’ll burn like fire,
Let me not sink to be a clod:
Make me Thy fuel, Flame of God.”
– Amy
Carmichael
I want, in the words of Lilias Trotter, to have “no room
for anything but Jesus.” To have a heart humbly surrendered to Him. To have eyes that focus upward on Him. To have a life written by Him.
And I am so thankful that I do not have to reach these goals on my
own.
“For it is God which worketh in you
both to will and to do of His good pleasure.”
–
Philippians 2:13
